Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a...– Einstein
priimeking asked: You're CLASSIC.! i LOVE your blogs. :)
Alright, let’s save us both the bullshit and wasted breath here. It’s all good. I’m cool. I don’t mind you NOT asking me how i’m doing. In fact, I’d rather like it, nay, LOVE IT, if we could just bypass that part completely. Or at least let’s be honest about the fact that we really just don’t give two shits about what each other have been up to. I...
Fishy and I apologize. How were we to know that your self-proclaimed “Dumbo Ears” would “sonic hear” (as you ALSO said), through the blaring bar music? You have to believe us that we were absolutely NOT intending ANY ears to overhear the filth that was escaping our dirty lil’ mouths. But really… what could you expect? It was 1am, there was alcohol involved and then of course Pony by Ginuwine...
You are my soulmate. One of us needs to dismember our penis so we can have...– Text message from my vagina endowed friend this morning who, similarly to me, often gets accused of having a penis.
An Ode to Horny
A couple nights ago a good friend of mine, that we’ll call Horny McHornerson, decided to go out to a lil’ concert. Horny is named so for obvious reasons, she’s horny, nuff said. I’ve known Horny since we were 13 and we can easily pick up on each other’s personal quos, which makes going out together entertaining and safe. While we still manage to waste our breath talking about decisions we may or...
When I lived in San Francisco there were too things I just had to get used to: Public Transportation, and Crazy Ass motha fuckas. Anyone who has ever been to the city of sodomy knows that the streets are home to thousands of residents young and old, short and tall, lovers and fighters, and all equally fucking crazy and reeking of their own piss. It was something that wasn’t easy for a Maui girl...
Hot Bitches and their Boobs
I love nothing more than a foreign holiday revolving around the consumption of alcohol. So come St.Patties day I dust off my old green threads and regress back into a sloppy college co-ed. This year a wonderful Irish pub on the south side was the locale for my great demise. I was working all night and ended up playing the game no one wants to play: catch up. By the time I arrived, everyone at...
What the buck???
WHOA WHOA WHOA…. Slow your roll. We barely know each other. I’ve seen you here on occasion, made eye contact more than a few times, and even offered up a little awkward small talk. So I’m thinking, that YOUR thinking, that we know each other pretty well by now. Yeah, I recognized you and your white friend, how could I ever forget those muscular legs? There’s no way I would bypass without a...